Jump to: a reflection by Corny Swayze | a reflection by Rev. Thomas H. Fanning
by Corny Swayze
St. Thomas Episcopal Church in Diamondhead has been sponsoring Grief Support groups for the benefit of the larger community. Most of those who attend are from Hancock county. The groups began meeting about 8 years ago with a brief rest for Covid. The groups are held twice each year in the Spring and the Fall. They usually run between 6 and 8 weeks in duration, depending on the number of people who attend. The participants are welcome to come back and attend again the following session if they choose. If the loss has been recent that is often helpful and needed. The groups are facilitated by St. Thomas members who have professional backgrounds in mental health.
The structure of the meetings is based on a combination of short educational offerings and opportunities to process the life and memories of the deceased. Various tools and skills are shared to help those attending to work through their pain in a variety of ways. The discussions or processing gives participants an opportunity to freely discuss the memories and share their emotions in an atmosphere of safety and acceptance. Because all are coming from loss there is a mutual understanding and acceptance of each other. It is gratifying to see how participants bond with one another, offering sympathy, acceptance, and caring, which is such an enormous ingredient for healing. They are encouraged to continue being a support to one another after the formal meetings conclude. Many have continued on in the form of regular lunches, meeting for coffee, or just staying in touch with each other.
St. Thomas has been blessed to offer this outreach to our community.
by Rev. Thomas H. Fanning
I have been a priest for eighteen years, and for most of those years, I have felt a need to offer a grief ministry to the people I serve in my congregation and in the greater community. The Rev’d Billie Abraham and I discussed Walking the Mourner’s Path for many years. It is a Christ-centered grief ministry associated with the Episcopal Church, and Billie has always spoken very highly of it.
Not long after I arrived at the Chapel of the Cross, our Rector, The Rev’d Will Compton, asked me to start a grief group. When he asked me about this, I already had an idea of what I would do and how I would make it happen.
I contacted Catherine Gilbert, who leads the training program for facilitators out of St. Anthony of the Desert Episcopal Church in Scottsdale, Arizona. After some discussion, we settled on a date for her to come to Madison, Mississippi, to teach qualified parishioners and priests how to facilitate the program. She trained seven facilitators and two priests in the fall of 2024. The other priest trained to facilitate is The Rev’d Les Hegwood, Rector at St. Philip’s in Jackson along with two lay people from his parish. There was also a lay person from New Orleans who joined us for the two-and-a-half-day training. During that time, the facilitators and priests went through the same eight sessions as our future participants.
The program lasts for eight weeks, meeting one night per week and is facilitated by lay persons with an ordained person present in each of the meetings. Additionally, there is a celebration of Holy Eucharist at the end of the eighth meeting.
The program was meaningful to me as I walked the mourner’s path because of my son who died a few years ago. One thing I know about grief is that most of the time it is processed privately. It could be that the person in grief isn’t comfortable being vulnerable in the presence of others. It could be that grief is like a book that we don’t want to read but must read. So, we put it on a shelf. The healthiest thing someone in grief can do is to deal with it. If we don’t, then the grief will come off the shelf and deal with us when we least expect it. Walking the Mourner’s Path allows the participants to deal with the grief in a supportive small group. One thing we do at the end of our meetings is to say a prayer, which is to acknowledge that we are not alone. We stand and place our hands in each other’s hands and say together, “I place my hand in yours … and together we can do what we cannot do alone.” Not being alone provides a safe place to process grief and, in some way, find some joy through the grief process. This is the goal of Walking the Mourner’s Path.
From what I have experienced and what I have found in other grieving individuals, there is a need, “a yearning”, for a place to process grief. Walking the Mourner’s Path is a meaningful place to meet this yearning.
St. James’, St. Andrew’s, St. Philip’s, and Chapel of the Cross are the parishes that offer this program in the Jackson Metropolitan Area. If you or someone you know is interested in participating in Walking the Mourner’s Path, please contact one of these parishes if you are in the Jackson area. My understanding is that there are even more parishes in our diocese who offer this program. I am also available to discuss this program with anyone who is considering starting a group in your parish or mission.